ifs-informed emdr

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You already have everything you need to heal. I'm here to help you put the pieces together. 

IFS-informed EMDR 

Online trauma therapY serving colorado & Georgia

You already have everything you need to heal. I'm here to help you put the pieces together. 

ifs-informed emdR 

online Trauma therapy serving Colorado & Georgia

Have you tried therapy before but didn’t feel like it was helping because it just felt like talking to a friend or you weren't really working on anything?

Do you keep hearing great things about EMDR but you’re feeling nervous to try it because it sounds kind of weird?

Or have you even tried EMDR and didn’t have a great experience with it, but everyone keeps telling you “it’s the best thing for trauma” and so you’re feeling stuck with how to keep working towards healing?

Are you ready for a different kind of therapy?

Has someone told you that IFS or "parts work" was a game-changer in their healing process and you're curious to learn more?

Discover what can happen when you learn to befriend the broken parts of yourself instead of trying to "fix" them. 

IFS-INFORMED EMDR

IFS-Informed EMDR takes two different therapies that are evidence-based for treating trauma and brings them together. 

The goal of both IFS and EMDR is to identify and change the core, underlying negative beliefs that are causing you to experience emotional and relational problems. By changing these beliefs, you remove your greatest barrier to living your desired life. 

Another name for “emotional learnings” is “implicit memories.” EMDR and IFS each use different techniques to accomplish a process called memory reconsolidation, which addresses impactful experiences that have gotten “stuck” in the brain’s memory networks. Most therapists use either EMDR or IFS, but IFS-Informed EMDR integrates the two:
 
- it uses the standard EMDR treatment protocol for re-processing memories by desensitizing the old experience (takes the “charge” out of how the experience is stored in the brain) and installing new, positive cognitions (re-stores the experience in the brain’s memory networks with a positive belief attached to it) 

- it also incorporates the concepts of “parts” from IFS: it accesses the calm, compassionate leadership of our true “Self” in order to gain permission from “protectors” to connect with the “exiles” who are stuck in the past so they can release the negative emotions and beliefs they are holding 


What is IFS-Informed EMDR?

What is IFS therapy?

what is emdr therapy?

Learn more about each of these therapies: 

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. You never need to remember that, and Francine Shapiro, the creator of EMDR, said that if she could go back, she would just call it “Reprocessing Therapy.”

​​

​​EMDR recognizes that we all have a “processing system” in our brain that helps us resolve disturbing life experiences – similar to how our body has a process for healing when we get a cut. Traumas sometimes cause this processing system to get "stuck." It's stuck because even though it happened in the past, the experience gets stored in the brain as though it’s happening right now.

This is problematic when something happens in the present to trigger those memories, and you suddenly experience the same feelings and bodily sensations you had when the trauma occurred. So maybe your heart starts racing and your palms get sweaty and you feel a surge of panic. This can feel especially unsettling if you aren't aware that an old trauma is being triggered, so it feels like your reaction came out of nowhere or that it doesn't make any sense.

In addition to the feelings and sensations associated with traumatic events, "emotional learnings" can also get stuck. Emotional learnings define the way we view ourselves, others, and the world in general. Negative emotional learnings, such as “I'm not good enough” or “I can’t trust anyone because people always leave” are obviously more likely to develop when we experience a trauma such as childhood abuse or a parent dying or abandoning their family when they were growing up.

It's important to understand that many of our core emotional learnings develop very early, typically before the age of 3, which is before we have any concrete memories. Many adults are surprised to discover they have such deeply rooted negative core beliefs about themselves or others when they had a "pretty good childhood" or don't feel as though they've experienced anything that would qualify as truly "traumatic." But at those very early stages of development, feelings of shame or beliefs about being unlovable or unworthy can still get stuck from experiences that don't really seem like a big deal. That is because things that seem trivial to us as an adult could have been incredibly impactful as an infant or toddler.

Therefore, EMDR would define "trauma" as anything that happened to you or that you experienced that is continuing to have a negative impact on your life. So EMDR can help heal obviously traumatic events or experiences AND anything else that is still affecting someone and keeping them stuck. 
 

What does emdr therapy stand for?

The biggest problem when things get stuck like this is that the different pieces of the memory or emotional learning are stored in different, isolated parts of your brain, as though they are “locked away.” This means that all the other information you either already have in your brain or might be learning about in therapy that could help resolve the traumatic experience can’t link up. This is also why some methods of therapy like CBT don’t work when there is trauma involved. When you’re learning skills to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones, you create new and very helpful pathways in your brain. But if those new pathways still can’t link up with the trauma, then it’s not going to make you feel better.

EMDR uses something called bilateral stimulation to basically “unlock” your nervous system and help the different parts of your brain link up. Bilateral stimulation gets the two sides of your brain talking to each other, and engages a a type of accelerated processing that we often do subconsciously during REM sleep. This can be done using eye movements where you track something moving side to side, or using headphones when you listen to sounds that alternate sides, or using little buzzers that you hold in each hand and buzz one at a time back and forth. 

Linking up this information is a necessary step in re-processing the traumatic experience, so your brain is then able to RE-store the memory in a new way. The images, sounds, smells, emotions, and body sensations get stored properly as being in the past. EMDR calls this desensitization, because it takes the “charge” out of the memory so it no longer feels distressing to remember it. EMDR follows this with installation, which “overwrites” the old negative belief and attaches a new, positive perspective to the memory. As your core beliefs change, so does the primary "lens" through which you see the world, allowing you to finally step into the life you've always wanted!



If you are a fellow nerd, feel free to check out my blog post where I take an even deeper dive into the neuroscience behind EMDR and everything you might want to know about what the process looks like. 


how EMDR understands "trauma"

why does emdr therapy work?

IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. IFS recognizes that we all have different “parts” of ourselves, also called subpersonalities. Dick Schwartz, who created this therapy model, realized that these parts were like an internal family who all have different roles or jobs.  

what does IFS stand for?

So our internal family is made up of the Self and then two kinds of parts. At the core or center of every person is the (capital S) Self. This is the “you” that is not a part. Sometimes referred to as the true self, higher self, the Self contains qualities such as compassion, curiosity, and is the ideal leader of the internal family. But this Self-leadership can be lost when one or more of our parts merge with the Self, which is called “blending.” But if the Self can unblend, and become differentiated enough from these parts, then it can resume its role as leader and work effectively with different parts that are currently causing problems.

Of the two kinds of parts, the first kind of part is called an exile. Exiles are hurt child parts that hold negative beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m a failure” and painful emotions like anger, helplessness, or shame. The second kind of part is called a protector: these are our "defense mechanisms" that work hard to prevent exiles from being triggered, maybe by planning, controlling, or people pleasing… or they shut down the exiles when they do get triggered, numbing emotional pain through things like food, sleep, shopping, TV or social media.

internal family systems parts work

The primary goals of IFS are:
  • First, to Reconnect with the Self, what IFS calls accessing Self-energy, by unblending with parts who have taken over and re-establishing the Self as the internal leader.
  • Next, IFS believes all parts have positive intentions, even if what they do to try to help is ultimately unhelpful or even scary or harmful. So another goal is to identify and understand protector parts - what these parts believe they are protecting you from, and how they do that. When these parts feel heard and validated, they tend to soften and not act in such extreme ways.
  • Finally, the goal is to identify exiled parts that are being triggered and help them release the negative emotions and beliefs they are holding. IFS calls the process “unburdening” –on a neurological level this functions very similarly to EMDR’s “reprocessing” even though the specific techniques are different

One reason I love IFS is it’s such a compassionate approach, and so respectful of each person’s internal system because it collaborates with our natural psychological defenses rather than trying to push past them. As your internal world becomes friendlier, and is ultimately less burdened by pains from your childhood, this can drastically change how you care for yourself and the people you love, and how you approach your career and other goals for your life!  



If you are a fellow nerd, feel free to check out my blog post where I take an even deeper dive into IFS, including the concept of an internal family, Self, Exiles, and Protectors, the kinds of issues this therapy can help with and how it works. 

how does internal family systems therapy work?

Both IFS and EMDR are amazing therapies on their own, but they aren't without limitations. Unfortunately, this can lead to some people wondering “What is wrong with me?” when one of these therapies doesn’t work for them, and losing hope that they will ever feel better or be able to have the life they want.
 

Integrating these two therapies creates an unprecedented approach that can be completely tailored to each individual person. It makes for a much smoother healing process, and allows many people who have tried trauma therapy before to finally experience the changes they have been hoping for. 


Why is IFS-Informed EMDR better than just one or the other?

IFS-Informed EMDR meets you wherever you are. You don't have to find and figure out how to navigate "the" path to healing - you get to explore and travel along your path to healing.

Another name for “emotional learnings” is “implicit memories.” EMDR and IFS each use different techniques to accomplish a process called memory reconsolidation, which addresses impactful experiences that have gotten “stuck” in the brain’s memory networks. Most therapists use either EMDR or IFS, but IFS-Informed EMDR integrates the two:
 
- it uses the standard EMDR treatment protocol for re-processing memories by desensitizing the old experience (takes the “charge” out of how the experience is stored in the brain) and installing new, positive cognitions (re-stores the experience in the brain’s memory networks with a positive belief attached to it) 

- it also incorporates the concepts of “parts” from IFS: it accesses the calm, compassionate leadership of our true “Self” in order to gain permission from “protectors” to connect with the “exiles” who are stuck in the past so they can release the negative emotions and beliefs they are holding 


What is IFS-Informed EMDR?

  • See and treat yourself with more compassion

IFS-Informed EMDR will help you to heal from your trauma so that you can:

  • Know your inherent worth and value
  • Identify and assert your needs
  • Set and maintain healthy boundaries 
  • Make decisions with confidence
  • Engage with others as your most authentic self

Everything you think is “wrong” with you is tied to an event in your past where a younger part of you is stuck and hurting. That part of you is deserving of your return and rescue. That reunion will change your current pain.


 

- Nate Postlethwait

What to Expect if you work with me

Before scheduling an initial appointment with a new client, I always have a free consultation call first.

Done over Zoom, this call helps me learn a little bit about what is bringing you to therapy and answer any questions you have so that we can make sure the kind of therapy I offer is the right fit for you to accomplish your goals, and that I’m the right therapist for you!

Then if you decide it’s a good fit and want to move forward, we’ll schedule your first session and I’ll send you the paperwork and questionnaires you’ll need to fill out and the consent forms you will need to electronically sign beforehand. 

Free Consultation Call

An initial therapy appointment is known as an “intake session.” I’ll ask you a lot of open-ended questions to better understand all your different concerns about your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, physical symptoms, and a wide variety of factors that may be contributing to or impacted by your current situation - such as the relational patterns in your family of origin and what your relationships currently look like with your family, partner, child(ren), friends, and coworkers.

I’ll also ask you about your goals and we’ll start talking about how we can accomplish those together.

Note: when it comes to talking about the trauma(s) you want to process and heal from, I’ll ask some surface level questions to get a general idea of what we’ll be working on, but we definitely won’t do a deep dive into any of that during the initial session.

For the first few sessions, we focus on improving day-to-day functioning so you can manage any symptoms you’re experiencing of depression, anxiety, or PTSD.

I see coping strategies as weedwackers - if your current mental/emotional state feels like a garden completely overgrown with weeds, these will help you feel a lot better pretty quickly. Buuut, they obviously don’t address the deeper issues.

Before we start pulling that sh*t out at the root, we’ll also spend time working with any parts of you that have hesitations or concerns about beginning the real trauma work. The amount of time we spend in this phase depends on how many tools you already have in your toolbox and how well they are currently working for you, as well as on what your parts need to feel safe enough to proceed to the next phase. 

As your day-to-day feels more manageable, we transition to identifying and working to heal the root cause(s) of your emotional or relational challenges. We’ll talk in more detail about traumas or other impactful experiences you are already aware of and wanting to process and heal from.

I will also help you to identify any negative “emotional learnings” you may not currently be aware of that are contributing to your current struggles.

Then we will begin re-processing: collaborating with all your different parts to help your brain get “unstuck,” and ultimately allowing you to experience a shift from feeling broken, stuck, or insignificant to building a secure and positive sense of self, cultivating trust in others and authenticity in relationships, and finding the confidence and motivation to work towards the life you really want.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Is emdr therapy safe?

Yes, when done with a licensed and trained clinician, EMDR is considered a safe therapy with little risk of adverse effects. EMDR clinicians are trained both in knowing when EMDR would be contraindicated as well as in handling any intense reactions that may come up during the process. Note: "safe" is not the same thing as "comfortable" or "easy." Processing trauma is challenging, sometimes exhausting work. Revisiting your worst memories and most painful emotions can feel very unpleasant. Doing EMDR can absolutely make you feel worse sometimes because it is bringing up old, unresolved painful things. But EMDR will not actually make you worse. However, with the right preparation before beginning the reprocessing (greatly improved through the parts work of IFS), EMDR is not re-traumatizing. It is a difficult, but tolerable experience that can bring powerful relief. 

will emdr make me cry?

Yup. EMDR helps you to access and release emotions that you've be holding onto, and this often is expressed through crying. It's not uncommon to have parts that really don't like crying - at all or maybe just in front of other people. If you have a part that feels that way, we would befriend this protector and learn what it would need to feel more comfortable with crying before beginning to process the traumas you are wanting to work on. 

You also may notice becoming more "teary" outside of sessions after doing EMDR for awhile - this is generally a good thing as it shows that your parts are becoming more comfortable with having and expressing emotions. If you are concerned about the increase in crying or feel like you're crying too much, this is something we would address in session and figure out what is needed to resolve that. The goal is definitely not to turn you into a total sap! Unless of course, it turns out that your true Self is genuinely sappy. I can't change that! 

how many emdr sessions do you need?

The good news is that EMDR brings about "accelerated resolution" in comparison to many other kinds of therapies. Someone experiencing PTSD from a single-incident trauma, such as a car accident, might need as few as 3 sessions to bring about complete relief!

The bad news is that EMDR is not magic. If you have experienced multiple traumas in your adulthood that you want to work through, and/or if you experienced complex/developmental trauma from growing up with abusive, neglectful, absent, or otherwise unsupportive parents, then there is obviously much more for you to reprocess. Nonetheless, you are still likely to see big shifts just from the initial work we do with your protector parts, and can experience significant relief from successfully reprocessing just one of your traumas.

Most of my clients have been in therapy for at least a year, many for two or more years. But many clients meet with me every other week, and whether we meet weekly or twice a month, we aren't doing the EMDR trauma processing every single session. Some clients also choose to do "intensives" or longer therapy sessions, which helps them to see progress more quickly.

can emdr be done virtually?

Yes! The only thing about EMDR that makes it a little more complicated to figure out how to translate into online sessions is the bilateral stimulation. I actually started providing EMDR virtually even before COVID, and so one silver lining of the pandemic is that there are now so many more quality platforms offering a variety of options for the bilateral stimulation. I use a platform called remotEMDR that you are able to access on whichever device you use for your video sessions. 

what are emdr intensives?

EMDR "intensives" are longer sessions to help increase the efficiency of trauma processing. In weekly sessions, a little bit of time is spent checking in and wrapping up in every session, and it often takes people a little while to "get in the zone" of processing. This means that in a standard 50-minute session, you might only spend 40 minutes processing and only 20 minutes where it feels like your brain is really making some progress. Intensives, which can be a half day, ~3 hours, or full day, ~6 hours (with breaks, of course), and may even be many days in a row, are therefore able to maximize the time you can spend actually processing.

I do not currently offer half or full day intensives, but I do offer extended sessions - either 75 or 100 minutes instead of the typical 50 minutes - for clients who are interested in being able to go further with their processing in a single session.   

can you do ifs therapy on yourself?

The concept of Self-leadership means that the IFS process is actually something that can be fully Self-led (meaning you can do it on your own). There are books and workbooks available that will walk you through this, but that is really most appropriate for people working towards general self-improvement. I do not recommend doing this work on your own if you are currently experiencing depression, anxiety, PTSD, or any other kind of mental illness. Without a trained therapist’s guidance, people can inadvertently throw their internal system even more out of whack and end up feeling even worse.

Ego state therapy vs internal family systems. What’s the difference??

If you have been in EMDR before, you may have heard your therapist talk about "ego states." Before IFS became more well-known, Ego State Therapy had often been integrated with EMDR to improve clients' success with reprocessing. While they use different terms, Ego State Therapy and IFS have similar concepts around the idea of "parts" and the importance of "parts work" in trauma therapy. 

I am not trained in Ego State Therapy so I cannot speak in detail to the similarities and differences, but they appear to have very similar philosophies and goals and it seems that either, when integrated with EMDR, would have similar benefits to reprocessing.  

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